The Voice of Cannonsgate


Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" urges readers to avoid the passive voice — the active voice is more direct and vigorous.

The classic writing manual didn't mention that the passive voice creates mystery, Joseph Neff reports.

An example of the passive voice is the following sentence: Former Gov. Mike Easley and his wife were given a $137,470 discount on their Cannonsgate lot on Bogue Sound.

R.A. North Development, the company that developed Cannonsgate, gave the discount. But who was the person behind it? The passive voice hides the identity.

The passive voice shows up in other Cannonsgate matters.

Ace Smith, Easley's spokesman, the former governor "was assured he received the same offer as everyone else."

Who assured Easley?

Smith declined to say.

Richard Stanley, the closing attorney, told Dome that he was instructed to put the 25 percent seller's discount into the closing documents.

Who instructed Stanley to do so?

Stanley declined to say.

Stanley wrote a letter about the deal to the Carteret County News Times.

More after the jump.

—————

Dome has bolded the passive verbs that add some mystery to the transaction:

"One of my real estate paralegals received a telephone call to change the closing statement to reflect a seller’s discount. As she was trained to do, she immediately asked if seller, buyer and the lender had been informed of the change and had everyone approved.

She then asked for written confirmation of this and after being provided the same, she made the change in the closing statement reflecting the discount, faxed it to seller and buyer, and received a signed copy back.

Upon receipt of the closing documents, the deed to the buyer and deed of trust to the lender was recorded on Dec. 22, 2005, and the original signed documents including the closing statement reflecting the discount were forwarded to the lender.

The mystery continues. Who called the paralegal? And who provided the written confirmation?

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Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

Another cute book to articulate the details of wrong. We have no leaders. It is all about the money! What is the answer to making this world a better place? That would be a question I have no answer to. The part I'm sure of is this. Lawyers, real estate developers, insurance agents and the like have a special place in Hell reserved for them.

Hurry - Special Discount ends soon!

I’m sure there will be a simple explanation.

It was probably some type discount coupon deal. I know I see a lot of coupons in the paper for “buy one, get one free” or “buy one and get the second at half off.” And a lot of restaurants in college towns give 10% off with a student ID. If you check the local paper or those coupon books you will probably find a coupon that reads: “25% off lots with a Governor’s ID.”

Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

Ace may no be so acey after this.

Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

Your first example after the jump: "...paralegals received a telephone call... ." is not an example of the passive voice at all. The verb "received" is past tense, not passive. That sentence, using the passive voice, would read "A telephone call was received by one of my...paralegals... ." As Strunk & White say, the passive voice is sometimes appropriate to emphasize the object noun rather than the subject noun, but generally the active voice is preferable. E.B. White wrote in the introduction of Chapter 1, which contains the explanation of the active/passive distinction, that all aspiring writers should commit these rules to memory. I think that professional journalists should heed his advice; to the extent they have not, they should have the book within reach at all times.

Language can be used to inform or to obfuscate, and both the active and passive voice can accomplish either objective.

Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

You gotta love a lawyer named "Ace".

Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

add a cagey loiwyer and look at the obfuscation of facts...these people are all sleazeballs, now INCLUDING Richard Stanley...wonder if HE gets a reward for 'talkin right' ???

Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate

This one has officially fallen down the rabbit hole. Mike and Mary will be guests of honor at The Mad Hatters Tea Party unless the Queen of Hearts demands "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS" ....