Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" urges readers to avoid the passive voice — the active voice is more direct and vigorous.
The classic writing manual didn't mention that the passive voice creates mystery, Joseph Neff reports.
An example of the passive voice is the following sentence: Former Gov. Mike Easley and his wife were given a $137,470 discount on their Cannonsgate lot on Bogue Sound.
R.A. North Development, the company that developed Cannonsgate, gave the discount. But who was the person behind it? The passive voice hides the identity.
The passive voice shows up in other Cannonsgate matters.
Ace Smith, Easley's spokesman, the former governor "was assured he received the same offer as everyone else."
Who assured Easley?
Smith declined to say.
Richard Stanley, the closing attorney, told Dome that he was instructed to put the 25 percent seller's discount into the closing documents.
Who instructed Stanley to do so?
Stanley declined to say.
Stanley wrote a letter about the deal to the Carteret County News Times.
More after the jump.
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Dome has bolded the passive verbs that add some mystery to the transaction:
"One of my real estate paralegals received a telephone call to change the closing statement to reflect a seller’s discount. As she was trained to do, she immediately asked if seller, buyer and the lender had been informed of the change and had everyone approved.
She then asked for written confirmation of this and after being provided the same, she made the change in the closing statement reflecting the discount, faxed it to seller and buyer, and received a signed copy back.
Upon receipt of the closing documents, the deed to the buyer and deed of trust to the lender was recorded on Dec. 22, 2005, and the original signed documents including the closing statement reflecting the discount were forwarded to the lender.
The mystery continues. Who called the paralegal? And who provided the written confirmation?
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Re: The Voice of Cannonsgate
Another cute book to articulate the details of wrong. We have no leaders. It is all about the money! What is the answer to making this world a better place? That would be a question I have no answer to. The part I'm sure of is this. Lawyers, real estate developers, insurance agents and the like have a special place in Hell reserved for them.