Price = price

Just got back from the buffet. I was disappointed. They did not have any pheasant legs!!!!!!!!!! Plenty of chicken legs but no leg of pheasant anywhere. I spoke with the manager and asked if he could cook me some up……special. But he kindly informed me they had not one pheasant back in the freezer. He suggested I try the Chapel Hill location because he said “they were really weird over there.” After that he cursed at me and told me to leave.

Nor I did not see any “rabbit with black truffles and foie gras” on the buffet but I am sure they had some. After all, it’s pretty much a staple at any area restaurant.

Top ten ways to know that the restaurant serving you “rabbit with black truffles and foie gras” is a real, honest-to-goodness, high class place:

10. They have used a Magic Marker and crossed out “rabbit” and written in “hare,” because they don’t want the little children walking away from the buffet line crying about dead rabbits. That shows good breeding and high classedness right there!
9. If they offer you McTruffles or BoTruffles, they are “posers.”
8. You will know everything is on the “up and up” if the State Highway Patrol Trooper passes on the “rabbit with black truffles and foie gras” and eats what you and I eat.
7. The restaurant is definitely not high class if you notice the cook standing out back smoking the “foie gras?” and yelling, “Man, this is some fine grass!”
6. The really high class places use a magnet to remove the lead shot from the poor animal before they smother him in sausage gravy, collards and truffles.
5. If the restaurant has a mural on the wall depicting “Little Miss Muppet sitting on a truffle,” then get up and leave! “Little Miss Muppet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey!!!” She definitely did not sit on no danged truffle. History is history and state politics is no place for revanchist history lessons!
4. Truly fancy diners serve the American cousin to the truffle, “Ruffles Potato Chips.”
3. To put all this in perspective, please note these famous words written of Jed Clampett: “Then one day he was shooting at some food, And up through the ground came a bubbling crude.” I am not sure but I think he might have been shooting at a rabbit when the bubbling crude came out of the ground. With the current state of our weak dollar, ol’ Jed Clampett would probably be much richer if he had struck “black truffles” rather than “black gold.”
2. An online search for “foie gras” states that it is "the liver of a duck or a goose that has been specially fattened by gavage." I do not know about you but I doubt many area buffets have that either, not even Chen’s #1. I always thought that “foie gras” was foreign brussels sprouts grown in Iowa. (Wikpedia stated something about being fattened by gavage? That must be a spelling error. I think they meant to say they fattened up the duck or goose out in the “garage.” Not trying to sound pedantic, just trying to set the record straight.)

1. I tried to find out how much a pound of European truffles goes for these days but nobody seems to know. The guy at the Piggly-Wiggly said I ought to try out at Sam’s Club, and the guy at Sam’s Club said to try over at the Vet School, and the Vet School said to I ought to run for public office. Anyway, I do think they are awfully high…..what with the “weak dollar” and all. One thing is for sure, they are too high right now for us to consider giving our teachers a decent raise.

Let’s take a look at teacher pay when the dollar strengthens and truffles come down in price to where the average North Carolina family can really enjoy them.

It sure has been fun but I must run. I am speaking to an area business school on the topic, “Redneck Economics: It costs what it cost.” Open to the public and admission is only one “Moon Pie” wrapper.

Top ten satirical things the phrase, “It costs what it cost,” might mean:

10. I believe it is Biblical and has something to do with the “wages of sin.” They cost what they cost. But I am not really sure as I am a Presbyterian and we do not recognize sin except in others.
9. It’s Wal Mart’s new slogan for paying for the Chinese Olympics.
8. It is the Pig Latin translation of “Esse Quam Videri.”
7. I think it is a “price quote” from an exotic dancer over in Durham.
6. It is one of those things you say after you have been elected, never before. Never, ever before!
5. It is one of those things you say and then apologize for it because you were either taking cough medicine or you just had had a root canal. (On a front tooth!)
4. I think it is what a deer is “thinking rather than saying” when they become “a deer in headlights.”
3. It’s what the checkout guy tells you when something rings up higher than the “sale price.” Most of the time you just put it back. Unless you have already eaten it. Then you must either pay or fake a stomach ache.....or either come up with a real catchy phrase?
2. It’s the classic example of something that you would prefer to have phrased differently, like, “If you go to Italy, be sure and try the veal.”

1. It’s the explanation given to Kobe Bryant when the jeweler told him his wife had picked out a $4,000,000 diamond ring. “It costs what it cost.”

It's not about 'what' it costs, Governor. It's about who it costs. I suppose a lame duck governor needn't care.

I think I am beginning to understand the gov’s statement, “It costs what it cost.”

Take the “leg of pheasant” for example. I am a right big ole boy and it would take a sizable “mess” of pheasant legs to fill me up. As a matter of fact, I don’t know that I have ever eaten “leg of pheasant.” I always thought pheasant were rather small birds so I imagine it would take a lot of legs to get you full. I am going to look for them next Sunday when we go to the Golden Corral after church. They normally put out the fancy stuff on Sunday afternoons. I’ll let you know how they taste and how many it took to fill me up.

It will “cost what it costs” to get me full. If you have time you might want to “short” their stock ‘cause their inventory of “leg of pheasant” is getting reading to take a pretty big hit. I plan to get there early in case those Estonians, French, Italians and other “out of town” tourists have started arriving “en masse.”

Maybe we can get 'Mythbusters' to do a show on the phrase - “It costs what it cost.” Or maybe get the preacher to do a sermon on it’s meaning. (I think it might be one of the parables.) Or either one of Waylon Jenning’s songs. Or maybe even one of Dante’s “Seven Stages of Hell.”

On second thought, maybe I don’t understand it at all. It sounds like something a Republican would say. “It costs what it cost.” It made better sense last night after I had a few beers. This morning, “not so much.”

What an arrogant flippant remark from such a high brow, low class kinda guy!

How does Gov. Easley and his wife expect to raise tourism in our state by traveling abroad? This kind of thinking is crazy! I seriously doubt that anyone in Europe recognizes Gov. Easley as some kind of celebrity. I think because he is nearing the end of his term as governor he has decided nobody will mind if he and his wife take a few nice trips to Europe and enjoy the rich perks that somebody of his status should have. Oh and he should be able to justify it as something to improve our state economy.
We are in sad shape if the people of this state don't see right through this smoke screen, If we don't petiton our legislators to do something about this kind of frivolous spending. But then again with many government officals travel on the public dime and spending public money on perks for themselves, who could really expect them to stop the gravy train.

Those are the exact words my lawyer told me when I signed my divorce settlement. "It costs what it cost." That's when I started using "Hamburger Helper!" Sixty dollars worth of "Hamburger Helper" would feed all the victims of Hurricane Katrina. It must be that foreign cheese that runs the price up.