GOP 'invites' Perdue into budget fray

Was the House tax package regressive? Was the House tax package progressive? Was the House tax package a combination of regressive taxes and progressive taxes?

The public would like to know!

Episode #320: Opie learns about lobbyist chicken.

Opie: Pa, I have been thinking about my new bike.
Andy: Yes, son.
Opie: I’m gonna fix up my old bike. Paint it up and tighten up all the bolts. And get a new chain.
Andy: That’s using your head, Op.
Opie: Pa, rather than raising taxes, why can’t the state fix up some of their old stuff rather than buying new stuff.
Andy: Op, sometimes government doesn’t think like that. They believe it is easier to raise taxes and buy new stuff rather than fixing up the old stuff. They place a higher value on spending rather than saving.
Opie: But if the working families have to get by with old stuff, why not state government?
Andy: When you get elected and get your fill of lobbyist chicken then it becomes easy to raise taxes. Lobbyist chicken has something in it that blinds you to the plight of the citizens who elected you.
Opie: You mean they get a snoot full like Otis?
Andy: It’s along those same lines. You see, son, many people benefit from tax increases. There is more money floating through the air and some people are able to just reach out and grab it…..but not us.
Opie: It just doesn’t seem right. And it don’t sound nothing like what I heard during the campaign.
Andy: Once the campaign is over then all those campaign promises are forgotten. Campaign promises don’t mean much. They are like fire flies……you see them and then they disappear.
Opie: But isn’t a promise a promise?
Andy: Not in government. In government a promise dissolves in lobbyist chicken gravy. It’s like using paint remover. Or like blowing bubbles. The bubbles look good just as soon as you blow them out. But then they disappear forever as mist rising into the sky over Wake County.
Opie: I sure would love to taste some of that lobbyist chicken.
Andy: Hush your mouth. You never want to be tempted by lobbyist chicken! You would never be the same. It’s stronger than white lightnin’ and more deadly than an acorn dollar.
Opie: But why do the elected officials eat lobbyist chicken?
Andy: Son, those lobbyists are slick. They use their wiles to entice the politicians. They put the lobbyist chicken bones under the desks in the General Assembly and the smell permeates the air. They rub lobbyist chicken grease on the microphones and when an elected official raises that microphone to their lips……they are forever within the grasp of the lobbyists. They’re smitten with the desire to raise taxes. You can smell the chicken bones throughout the chambers. You can smell it on the politicians’ clothes. It’s everywhere.
Opie: Have you ever smelled it, Pa?
Andy: Yes I have. You remember when Barney wrote the Governor a parking ticket? And then the Governor came to Mayberry to shake Barney’s hand. Well, Op, we had to air the place out for a week. The chicken smell was so pungent you could not hardly believe it. The flies were everywhere. People thought we had opened a chicken joint here at the jail. And mixed with that Cuban cigar smell….it was something awful!
Opie: Whew! Is there any antidote to lobbyist chicken?
Andy: The only known antidote is common sense or acid reflux.
Opie: I hope I have common sense and not acid reflux.
Andy: Op, did Ms. Crump give you some homework to do?
Opie: No, Pa, I ain’t seen Ms. Crump in three weeks time.
Andy: What, you haven’t seen her in three weeks?
Opie: No. She has some new teacher’s aides and assistants now. She spends all her time in the teacher’s lounge eatin’ chicken. They have to haul the chicken bones out with a forklift!

Join Opie and Andy again next time for another exciting episode where you may hear the Gov say: “Hey big man, let me hold a billion-five.”

As many times as I feel like.

That can get expensive for you bootstrap anti-government types. Don't you have to pay long distance charges on top of AOL by the minute?

Or did you let that big gov'mint man from the USDA on your land long enough to hook you up with rural broadband from the stimulus package before you shot him for trespassing?

Gosh, you don't run this blogg, though you do try. I am going to see if there anything that can be done about your remarks. You know the inbred,bucked toothed, etc.... I feel these comments are racial stereotyping.

As many times as I feel like.

One thing about bucked toothed mountainmen, they can finish what they start.

If you're referring to beer, that's apparent.

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How many more times are you planning on editing what I've already quoted?

Is that the best you come up with gosh??? I thought someone with a gaint brain,and no B**LS. could do better. You are not going to shut me up!!! Just because you think you are better than me, and that you have a superior brain because you live in the city. Thats just geography. You proved in your last post just how smart you are.

Submitted by mountainman on June 21, 2009 - 12:14pm.

Andy: republicans don't hate democracy son, just liberal left-wing nut jobs that are ruining the country

Opie: Why are they ruining the country Pa ?????

Andy: Well, you see son. They like to vote and sometimes they win. And what that means is every bucked toothed, inbred Mountainman with a fourth grade education aint always right.

Opie: They aint Paw?

Andy: No Ope, they aint. See, what we have here is a Democracy. And not all Mountainmen get that. See Ope, sometimes, a man cut off from things...

Opie: What kind of things Paw?

Andy: Oh, Ope, you know. Reality, election results, mainstream America, anything but Fox News... well, they get them some ideas, some real upside down thinking.

Opie: Gosh, Paw. Upside down Mountain men?

Andy: Well Ope [chuckle], not so much upside down as just real irrelevant and real loud about it.

Opie: I get it. Like a stuck pig before we eat 'im. Huh, Paw?

Andy: That's right Ope. Now you best get on an' do your homework lest you end up like one of them stuck pig Republicans.

Opie: I sure will Paw. I don't wanna be no irrelevant inbred.

Ok,this comment is in the budget mix. My wife is a school psychologist for a county in NC. Anyone know what the Legislature has decided about the schools: shorten the school year, remove longevity pay, any news?

Andy: republicans don't hate democracy son, just liberal left-wing nut jobs that are ruining the country

Opie: Why are they ruining the country Pa ?????

Andy: Because of money and power son, they had rather rule in a socialist nation than to live in a democracy.

Opie: Pa, why does GOSH hate republicans???

Andy: well, he don't really, he just don't like folks with different oppinions from him.

Opie: Is Gosh a liberal democrat or a centrist, what are the defference???

Andy: I can't see no defference so for, except they are good at correcting folks spelling

Submitted by BitterEXdemocrat on June 21, 2009 - 11:48am.

America is NOT a democracy!

Good luck with that Infomercial.

(because they are smart enough to KNOW that America is NOT a democracy!)

the word 'democracy' does NOT appear in the US nor the NC Constitutions!

'democracy' is known as MOB rule, with the controlling group bossing the defenseless.

of course, government screwl indoctrination centers PREACH about 'democracy' daily, which is a LIE to the students...

WHY do democrackkks have to LIE about everything and keep us so oppressed on the plantation of government SLAVERY?

Opie: Paw, who's DOMEWATCHER?

Andy: I don't know Son. Nobody does.

Opie: But he don't like all those people voting for Governor Perdue, President Obama and all those Democrats does he?

Andy: No son, I reckon he don't.

Opie: Paw, is he a terrorist?

Andy: No son, he's a blogger.

Opie: Oh. Like a fly in the ointment?

Andy: Yes son.

Opie: A wrench in the machine?

Andy: Yes son.

Opie: A platitude in a reasoned debate?

Andy: Yes son, that's him.

Opie: Paw?

Andy: Yes son?

Opie: Why do Republicans hate democracy?

Wait a minute, bniolet. Republicans are accusing the House Dems of passing a package of "regressive" taxes, but is this actually the case? I know the package was a combination of many taxes, but didn't it include raising income taxes on the highest earners?

Actual reporting needed! Was the House's tax package regressive or not?

I believe the current thinking concerning raising taxes can be found in a line from the movie, "The Magnificent Seven." (perhaps the finest movie ever made)

In the movie Calvera (played by Eli Wallach) says:

"If God didn't want them sheered,
He wouldn't have made them sheep."

Looks like we are going to be sheered again and it will be a little closer than last time. I hope they know if they cut too close we will die.....and then what will they do next year?

Stinkin' control freaks will not be satisfied until they've extracted every last dime from productive, responsible, "free" people and have used it to buy every last vote from freeloaders and n'er do wells.

type in "Reagan Raised taxes" into Google and see what comes up

Opie learns about taxes…….

Opie: Pa, can I get a new bike?
Pa: No, Op, I’m sorry.
Opie: Why not, Pa?
Pa: Op, Ms. Bev has called for 1.5 billion in new taxes. Your new bike money will be sent to Raleigh.
Opie: Why does Ms. Bev need all that money?
Pa: Op, the school teachers need more assistants.
Opie: You mean like Ms. Crump? She needs some assistants.
Pa: Yep. You see, son, Ms. Crump is in the union and they are calling for more money.
Opie: Ms. Crump is a Yankee?
Pa: Goodness no, Op! Ms. Crump is a good ol’ southern gal. She ain’t no Yankee. She is a member of a teacher’s union that is a big deal in Raleigh.
Opie: Is this union like a club?
Pa: Yes, Op, it’s like a country club. This union has what are called lobbyists. They work on the General Assembly members to get more money for the schools and stuff.
Opie: How do the lobbyists do that, Pa?
Pa: They take the elected officials out to eat and feed them pot roast and fried chicken and desserts like cake and apple pie. Then the elected officials get a full belly and just before they nod off to sleep they vote to give the union more money.
Opie: Could Aunt Bee make some fried chicken to give to them so they would vote some money for my new bike?
Pa: No, Op. The elected officials like to eat the lobbyist chicken and pot roast because it is made with special herbs and spices and such. Aunt Bee’s chicken is just regular, run-of-the-mill chicken and not up to their sophisticated taste.
Opie: So who is looking out for us, Pa? Who is for the poor people?
Pa: That would be Senator John. But he is in South America working for their poor folk.
Opie: Why did he go to South America?
Pa: Well, Op, it’s a delicate situation. Now, Op, the devil sent a blonde lady to tempt the Senator. So he had to go to South America.
Opie: The devil sent a blonde lady?
Pa: Yes, Op. A blonde with dark roots. Son, always stay away from felonies and blondes with dark roots.
Opie: OK, Pa. My girlfriend has red hair. Is she all right?
Pa: Yes sir ree Bob. Red headed women are just fine Op. And brunettes like Ms. Crump are fine too.
Opie: So, Pa, are the lobbyists tempting Ms. Bev into raising taxes?
Pa: Sorta. You see Op, the Bible clearly states that the temptation to raise taxes in inherent in Democrats. It’s like a genetic trait like the Mad Cow Disease or male pattern baldness. It just takes a little something to trigger the temptation.
Opie: Like lobbyist chicken.
Pa: Right, Op. Lobbyist chicken will tempt even the strongest of politicians and I’m afraid the taste of the forbidden fruit and lobbyist chicken is on her lips.
Opie: Well, I’ll just have to save my allowance and buy a new bike.
Pa: Op, I’ve got some bad news, son.
Opie: What, Pa?
Pa: Op, Ms. Bev is going to tax your allowance.
Opie: But Pa, I only get a quarter a week.
Pa: Yeah son, I know. Ms. Bev is gonna take a nickel. And Pres. Obama is gonna take a dime.
Opie: Why, Pa?
Pa: Op, the nickel will hire some teacher assistants so the teachers can spend time in the teacher’s lounge and play cards and talk on the cellphone and read Danielle Steele novels and watch the soaps and ‘Jon and Kate plus Eight.’ And Pres. Obama will use your dime to pay for other people’s doctor bills.
Opie: What other people’s doctor bill?
Pa: Anybody.
Opie: Like my friend Johnny Paul?
Pa: Yep, Op, that’s right.
Opie: So what’s Johnny Paul gonna do?
Pa: Get a new bike……..

....and to my knowledge that's the way it could be, maybe...

She hops all over NC shoutin 'whoa Nellie' and the clueless imbeciles just eat it up with spoons...remember folks, she's been in the state house for 21 years prior to this...she IS 'MORE CORRUPTION WITHOUT INTERRUPTION'!