State GOP Chairman Claude Pope has submitted an open letter responding to The New York Times editorial which expressed anguish about North Carolina's decline as a leader in the South.
"Thank you New York Times," writes Pope. "We Southern hillbillies are always honored when the Old Gray Lady's beacons of intelligence bestow their political wisdom from on high.''
"And why shouldn't we be eager to heed your advice on critical legislative matters pending in the Tar Heel state? After all, you've stood courageously against some of humanity's most imminent threats - lie soda. Does the thought of hiking taxes on North Carolina's job creators make your Ivy League hearts flutter as as fast a new tax on Dr. Pepper? It must. Why else would you be so serious about leaving the unemployed stuck in poverty, instead of helping them climb out of if by creating new jobs?''
"You're one of the world's most ardent advocates of diversity and tolerance. Except the ideological kind, of course. Remember 1956? That's the last time you endorsed a Republican presidential candidate….
"If you ever stepped foot in North Carolina, you'd know the carnage you describe is actually a massive rebuilding and clean-up effort. Your ideological soul mates sunk this state into a financial hole large than your collective egos….''
(Note. Pope, as a resident of Bald Head Island, may stretch the traditional definition of a hillbilly.)