Last night, my daughter handed me my "save the date" magnets for the folks I can invite from work. The challenge of a wedding is that you can't simply invite everyone you know. The guest list is a very tricky part of this process. My daughter has a spreadsheet, and a cap on the number. Watching her balance the list is like watching an NFL general manager prepare for draft day. The must-invites are pretty easy to figure out. It's when you get down to the final picks that it gets very difficult.
But there is some wiggle room, I think.
My textbook (Wedding Planning for Dummies) says this: "Remember that the mysterious folks who calculate wedding statistics say that you can expect 10 to 20 percent of those invited not to attend. That's the national average, but it could be irrelevant to your situation, so don't bank on this to plan the size of your venue or to determine your budget's bottom line. You might be the lucky ones blessed with 100 percent attendance."
Comments
Re: Save the date
October 9, 2007 - 3:26pm — jaycopanDan, we are enjoying reading your blog, as we prepare for our daughter's May 2008 wedding. We were somewhat distressed though to read this latest posting. When our oldest daughter was married, in DC, we had one-third of the potential invitees indicate that they would not be attending. That is the number we had planned for so we were pleased that one-third couldn't make it. In fact, at one point, I was offering some of my daughter's friends $100 each to not attend, as that would have still saved us some money. Surprisingly, no one took me up on that deal.
For our youngest daughter's May wedding, we have been planning on one-third saying no, especially since her wedding is on Bald Head Island. After reading your post on the wedding stats, we are hopeful that we fall more in line with our own experience rather than the national numbers you mentioned. If the RSVPs start to come in in the affirmative, I may very well be out there with my $100 per head offer to her friends.
One bit of advice -- don't fall into the "A" list and "B" list trap. We have heard from friends whose daughters have been married, that they have these dual lists, and if it looks like someone from the "A" list can't make it, then they revert to the "B" list. Our attitude is that if someone on the "A" list can't make it, there is no "B" list.
Jay Copan